Umm, Who the Hell is This?

The Today show has this concert series where lame performers come out to send adorning fans into a tizzy while working through some lame hit. Today's performer was Jason Bieber, which I misheard as "Jason Beaver." I had never heard of this tween idol, but there he was, dressed in a jaunty scarf, just waiting to go out to the screams of thirteen-year-old girls who were probably feeling those first longings for the showerhead.

Bieber, who was apparently discovered on YouTube (another one), sung "One Time" while dancing and trying to look kinda tough. He may have been lip synching, too, as the song the show played back after he left the stage sounded exactly like what he had just sung.

Bieber, who wants to remember where he's from (Canada, of course), then sang "Lonely Girl." Again with the showerhead hopes. This song actually sounded like he was singing, and to "black" it up, there was some DJ scratching.

Cut to a startling number of girls in braces holding up one finger and singing along. Girls are pulled from the crowd and put on stools on the stage as props. He makes his way around them, wrapping his arm around their shoulders. They express their love for him. He puts his head against one of them, and you can feel the jealousy coming off the crowd in waves.

This young lad, who tries to appear tough, but sensitive, is about as threatening as a CBS sitcom. That's why the young girls love him, as do their parents. Yeah, he's got some weird "urban" moves, but he doesn't look like a rapist, unlike Rob Zombie or Bono.

One of the girls on the stage keeps trying to talk to him. I think she's saying, "I love you. I'm your number one fan." Bieber doesn't miss a beat. He's new, but he's still a pro ... a YouTube pro. One silly girl with stylish hair won't throw him off his game, even though I bet she goes home feeling lonely even if she has a boyfriend.

I'll admit that I don't keep an eye on many teen sensations. I'm no Lou Pearlman-like pedophile. And when Bieber takes the stage for a third time, sitting on one of those stools and strumming an acoustic guitar (I hate when guys play an acoustic guitar -- nothing good comes of it), I still can't see his cheap appeal.

He's young. I suppose you could consider him cute. His songs are syrup-lite, and for a 15 year-old he seems to be mature (and still not threatening). So I could see why the girls like him. But why did this guy get CD? What made him stand out over every other performer who sounds like this (and there are thousands)? What makes this guy "the one"?

I can only think that it is lack of standards. If it looks good and sounds semi-decent, we can market it, pump it out there and make him a teen sensation so that we can put out a debut CD that sells, get our money and wait for the next "big thing." Bieber, like so many before him is product. He moves units. He is nothing more than a shill, and he doesn't know it. Hell, the young female fans probably have a better grasp on his future than he does.

I think three years from now nobody will remember this guy. I know it's been five minutes since I last heard his "angelic" voice and I can't remember a single lyric.

Jason Beaver who?

You Down With ICP?

You can't judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a band by its fans. Nowhere is this more true than with the Insane Clown Posse. I don't listen to the band, have heard very few songs, and don't really care to. What I've heard sucks for all the reasons you would imagine. Regardless, I've found that the majority of the act's fans fall into two camps.

The first camp is the fifteen-year-old males and the males who never matured past fifteen. These are guys who paint their faces, drink Faygo (because they are told to by the band) and who love songs like "I Stuck Her With My Wang." "I Stuck Her With My Wang" is a classic on par with Lennon's "Imagine," though as you can imagine the message isn't quite the same.

"I stuck her with my wang
She hit me in the balls
I grabbed her by her neck
And I bounced her off the walls
She said it was an accident and then apologized
But I still took my elbow and blackened both her eyes"

Men who have never matured past 15 find this stuff hilarious. No wonder they love ICP so much! The band appeals to the stunted male's most primal urges. Wang stickin' and eye blackenin'. It don't get much better than that if you are 15, don't know what you want to do with your life, and have no real prospects. Which brings us to the other camp.

The other camp is thirtysomething men. They have grown up ... kinda. They either live with their girlfriend (who is inevitably kind of hideous), who is the bread winner; or they live with their mothers, who always seem to be disabled (usually due to obesity). If these men have a job (big "if" as they need a job where they can wear their ICP shirts like a true jugaloo who is busy sticking his wang in "nasty motherfuckin noodle-stank booty-wack bitches"), it is usually not of the professional variety. Professional line chef or something, maybe, but it is doubtful an ICP fan will be performing your skin grafts.

It doesn't take a fucking genius to see this band's a joke. Always being in the shadow of fellow Detroit musician Eminem will eventually have some adverse affect upon your "art." What stuns me is that anyone takes them seriously (and ICP fans take the band very seriously). How can you not get the joke? In what universe would this be serious?

It's nice that the band wants to appeal to moronic, directionless males with mommy issues, but that really limits its audience. It should also be targeting fourteen-year-olds whose sole sexually experience was seeing porn on the net and guys who live in their cars. So much potential wasted. Hey, maybe Vanilla Ice can spare a few fans.

New Music From Voodoo Rhythm Records!

From the Beat-Man's hand ...

Hi

brand new on voodoo rhythm records :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

THE KING IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER ... HE TRANSPORTS THE ONE MAN BANDS INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION .. THE STRANGLERS MEETS ROCKSTEADY SKINHEADS MEETS RAW GARAGE PUNK MEETS VIRGIN PRUNES MEETS FRENCH YEYE BEAT …OR IN SIMPLY ONE WORD: KING AUTOMATIC !!!!!!-------------------------------------
BAND: KING AUTOMATIC

ALBUM TITLE: in the blue corner
Original Release Year : oct 2. 2009
Formate : LP/CD



DIRECT Order : http://www.voodoorhythm.com/VR1256.htm

WHOLESALE: http://www.voodoorhythm.com/distribution.htm

SIDE: http://www.kingautomatic.com/

MY SPACE: http://www.myspace.com/lekingautomatic

HI RES PICTURE 2009 http://www.voodoorhythm.info/IMAGES/PICTURE-KING-AUTOMATIC-2009.jpg

HI RES PICTURE : http://www.voodoorhythm.com/Images/PICTURE-KING-AUTOMATIC.jpg

CURRENT RELEASE: http://www.voodoorhythm.com/VR1257.htm

MP3 : in the blue corner

VIDEO CLIP : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-YDtG1ESt8







TRACK LIST



1. KING TAKES QUEEN
2. IN THE BLUE CORNER
3. STAIRCASE SERENADE
4. LE REDRESSEUR DE TORTS
5. MOODSWINGS
6. FAKE SKINHEADS IN LOVE
7. THINGS ARE WHAT THEY ARE BUT NEVER WHAT THEY SEEM

8. LET'S HAVE A PARTY
9. VAGUE INFORMATION
10. THERE IS NO TRUTH IN THE NIGHT
11. THERE GOES GEORGE
12. DOCTOR JEKYLL AND SISTER HYDE
13. MIGHTY SWORD OF TRUTH
14. BLACK MAGIC



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



KING AUTOMATIC

RECORD RELEASE TOUR:



Oct 1 2009 Subteranea Festival OVIEDO (E)

Oct 2 2009 Uhagon Kulturgunea MARKINA (E)

Oct 3 2009 La Pequena Betty MADRID (E)

Oct 4 2009 Tornado Rock’n’Roll Club GRANADA (E)

Oct 8 2009 Bafo de Baco LOULE (P)

Oct 9 2009 Cabaret Maxime LISBOA (P)

Oct 10 2009 Armazen do Cha PORTO (P)

Oct 16 2009 TBA w/The Monsters FREIBURG (D)

Oct 22 2009 ISC BERN (CH)

Oct 23 2009 TBA ZURICH (CH)

Oct 24 2009 TBA KALRSHRUE (D)

Oct 29 2009 Tap Tab SCHAFFHAUSEN (CH)

Oct 30 2009 Veka GLARUS (CH)

Oct 31 2009 Between w/Urban Jr, Night of one Sadist BREGENZ (A)

Nov 6 2009 Tinnitus Festival LYON (F)

Nov 7 2009 La Machine à Coudre MARSEILLE (F)

Nov 10 2009 TBA ANNECY (F)

Dec 5 2009 Sauna Club WOLFSBURG (D)

Dec 16 2009 TBA (I)

Dec 17 2009 TBA (I)

Dec 18 2009 TBA (I)

Dec 19 2009 Groove POTENZA PICENA (Macerata) (I)

Dec 20 2009 TBA (I)

Dec 21 2009 TBA (I)

Dec 22 2009 TBA (I)

Dec 23 2009 TBA (I)

Dec 24 2009 TBA (I)

Dec 25 2009 TBA (I)

Dec 26 2009 Kofmehl SOLOTHURN (CH)

---------------------------------------------------

ENGLISH

THE FUTURE OF ROCK ‘N ‘ ROLL? King Automatic’s In The Blue Corner

As we are now nearing the 2nd decade of the 21st century, it is time to ask an essential question: Where lies the future of Rock 'n' Roll?

Will we recycle old ideas ad infinitum - 3 chords boom chica boom, mimick the past and kneel and pray at the alter of Jerry Lee Lewis, The Ramones and the Cramps or will we introduce new musical concepts into Rock ‘n’ Roll, embrace the future and venture into unsafe yet exciting waters?

Will we limit ourselves by sticking to the musical traditions of the Western hemisphere only or will we seek inspiration across the four corners of our globe and make truly trans-global Rock ‘n‘ Roll? It is time to expand the horizon and to seek out new territories - it is time to evolve and if that evolutionary process takes the shape of King Automatic...well that's all the better. This Gentleman finds inspiration in Jamaican Rocksteady, Rhythm ‘n’Blues, Bebop,Tthe Stranglers, The Doors, Virgin Prunes, David Bowie, Tom Waits, and the tribal drumming of West Africa to mention only a few of the ingredients of a truly exotic musical cocktail. In addition to the musical diversity to be found in his music, King Automatic has also freed Rock ‘n’ Roll from the lyrical cliché of: “I picked up my baby in a ’59 De Ville, we tore through the city seeking cheap thrills”. There is actually real songwriting at play here which adds a welcomed layer to the music we all like to drink, dance and make babies to.

Starting out in the mid-1990’s as the drummer of the legendary French Punk band Thundercrack, King Automatic took a radical turn at the beginning of the new Millenium and introduced a new dimension to the stagnant sound of one-mand bands. He began to sample and loop organ, guitar, harp and percussion sounds live on stage to create a truly sonic soundscape – close your eyes and you will swear you are listening to an orchestra.

With his new album “In The Blue Corner” now appearing on Voodoo Rhythm Records, he has taken his vision to the next level and has created an even more diverse record than his previous two - he has once and for all left behind the shackles and confinements of traditional Rock ‘n’ Roll and his journey has led him to exciting places - mesadames & messieurs join King Automatic on his unique odyssee and explore the Rock ‘n’ Roll of the world!

DEUTSCH

DIE ZUKUNFT DES ROCK 'N ' ROLL? King Automatic's In The Blue Corner

Nun da wir uns der zweiten Dekade des 21. Jahrhunderts nähern, ist es an der Zeit sich eine essentielle Frage zu stellen: Wie sieht die Zukunft des Rock 'n' Roll aus? Werden wir alten Ideen ad infinitum recyceln -- 3 Akkorde Boom Chica Boom, weiterhin der Vergangenheit huldigen und am Altar Jerry Lee Lewis', der Ramones' und der Cramps' beten oder werden wir neue musikalische Konzepte in den Rock 'n' Roll einführen, die Zukunft annehmen und uns in unsichere aber aufregende Gewässer vorwagen?//

Werden wir uns selber limitieren in dem wir uns weiterhin nur an den musikalischen Traditionen der westlichen Hemisphäre orientieren oder werden wir unsere Inspiration quer über den Erdball verstreut suchen und wahrlich trans-globalen Rock 'n' Roll kreieren.

Es ist an der Zeit unseren Horizont zu erweitern und neue Territorien zu begehen -- es ist Zeit sich weiterzuentwickeln und wenn diese Entwicklung die Gestalt King Automatics annimt....dann umso besser. King Automatics Inspirationsquellen liegen im Jamaikanischen Rocksteady, dem R&B, sowie dem BeBeop und dem Polyrhythmus westafrikanischer Trommler, den Stranglers, Doors, Virgin Prunes David Bowie, Tom Waits etc um nur einige Zutaten seines wahrhaftig exotischen musikalischen Cocktails zu nennen. Seine musikalische Reise begann Mitter der 90er Jahre als Drummer der legendären französischen Punk Band Thundercrack.

Zu Beginn des neuen Milleniums unternahm King Automatic jedoch eine radikale Wende und führte eine neue Dimension in den stagnierenden Sound der One-Man Bands ein: Er begann Orgel, Gitarre, Harmonika und Percussion Live zu sampeln und loopen und kreierte so den Eindruck eines ganzen Orchesters. Mit seinem neuen, auf Voodoo Rhythm erschienenen Album "In The Blue Corner" legt er die musikalische Messlatte nun noch einmal höher. Entstanden ist ein noch diversifizierteres Album als seine beiden Vorgänger und man kann konstatieren dass er sich nun endgültige von den Fesseln und Einschränkungen des traditionellen Rock 'n' Rolls gelöst hat.

Mesdames et Messiuers begleiten Sie King Automatic auf seiner einzigartigen Odyssee und erkunden sie die Welt des trans-globalen Rock 'n' Roll.

FRENCH

LE FUTUR DU ROCK ‘N ‘ ROLL ? ~ “In The Blue Corner” par King Automatic ~

Alors que l'on s’approche gentiment de la deuxième décennie du 21ème siècle, il est temps de poser la question essentielle :Quel est le futur du Rock 'n' Roll ?

Est-ce que nous allons continuer longtemps à recycler les vieilles recettes jusqu’à ce que mort s’ensuive -3 accords, boum tchak boum– à singer le passé et à s’agenouiller pour prier devant l’autel de Jerry Lee Lewis, des Ramones ou des Cramps ?Ou allons-nous plutôt aller de l'avant et introduire de nouveaux concepts dans le Rock ‘n Roll ?Allons-nous exclusivement nous borner à suivre les traditions musicales de l’Hémisphère Occidental ?Ou allons-nous fouiner et décloisonner la chose, trouver notre inspiration aux 4 coins du globe, jouer un Rock ‘n‘ Roll réellement transmondialiste ?Il est temps de repousser loin nos horizons et de défricher de nouvelles terres, il est temps d'arrêter les conneries et de jeter les mouchoirs morveux de nostalgie... et si ce processus d’évolution prend la forme de King Automatic, bon sang c'est tant mieux.

Ce Gentleman puise son inspiration dans le Rocksteady jamaïcain le plus enfumé, le Rhythm‘n’Blues pas net, le Bebop de Mingus et les percussions tribales d’Afrique occidentale pour ne citer là que quelques sources.En plus de cette diversité musicale, King Automatic libère le Rock ‘n’ Roll des clichés lyriques et éculés du genre : “I picked up my baby in a ’59 De Ville, we tore through the city seeking cheap thrills”. Pas de niaiseries de ce genre, non Monsieur.Ici, un authentique travail de songwriter est à l'oeuvre, ciselé comme au bon vieux temps du trafic de diamants bruts, diamants que l'on voyait ensuite sertis sur les bagues des jolies dames.Ceci ajoute un intérêt supplémentaire et plus que bienvenu à cette musique sur laquelle nous aimons tous boire, danser et faire des bébés.Après avoir officié en tant que batteur dans le groupe garage français Thundercrack au milieu des années 90's, King Automatic repart seul et prend un virage radical au début du nouveau millénaire en injectant une nouvelle dimension dans son répertoire. One man band atypique, il reste inclassable dans cette discipline.

Sur scène, il sample claviers, guitare, harmo, maracas, il chante, cogne tambours et caisse claire en assignant de frénétiques coups de cymbales à ses riffs de guitares, créant ainsi un paysage sonique inouï – en fermant les yeux tu jurerais entendre un big band primitif au grand complet, mon pote. Avec son nouvel album “In The Blue Corner” paru sur Voodoo Rhythm Records, encore plus éclectique que ses deux précédents, il a une fois pour toutes largué les amarres, pris la mer définitivement libéré des entraves et des contraintes Rock ‘n’ Rollesques traditionnelles et son voyage l’a amené dans des contrées étranges et exotiques... Mesdames & messieurs, venez rejoindre King Automatic dans son unique odyssée et explorer le Rock ‘n’ Roll du monde entier !



Voodoo Rhythm Records

Wankdorffeldstrasse 92

3014 Bern



Switzerland



www.voodoorhythm.com

info@voodoorhythm.com

tel/fax: ++41 31 3321319

Sugar Ray and the Losers

On September 13 Sugar Ray came to Humboldt County (I'm assuming the band actually showed). As to be expected, there were people who were pretty excited about this turn of events. Why wouldn't they be? We get Kenny Rogers and Nightranger. All things considered, Sugar Ray looks like Moses coming down from the mount.

When I was at the Redwood Acres Raceway two weeks ago I was sitting in front of some people old enough to drink, but too young to actually know better when it came to Sugar Ray. "I want to go see him," the girl said. It was as if she thought Mr. Mark was Sugar Ray, like Mr. Rob is Judas Priest.

"Why?" the one boy asked. At least he had the good sense to question this nonsense.

"Because. How often can you say you saw Sugar Ray?"

And that's the point. Nobody should ever have to say they saw Sugar Ray ... at least not willingly. You can say you were dragged their by an aunt who thought she was being "cool." You can say you went with some girl in hopes of a bj in the parking lot afterward (and you better have gotten one -- a wet one with swallowing). You can say you took your mentally disabled sibling because it "meant so much to him." You can never say you actually wanted to go.

Sugar Ray is the equivalent to a fancy dinner date at Arby's. It is what people who don't really like or know music listen to. It is something you keep on the radio, but hope to God the hot girl in the car next to you hears. (She is listening to Christian Death and has heavy black eyeliner on. She looks like she could kill you, but you'd thoroughly enjoy that slaughter. Her breasts are concealed under a fading t-shirt, but you can imagine the most incredible nipples. And that skirt? Pure sexual heat. If she hears that, the slim chance you had that you would even make eye contact is gone. Sugar Ray destroys all things good ... unless you like drunk frat girls who have lost track of the number of penises that have been inside them, and can't remember the faces of half those guys.)

I, of course, did not go see this. Would not go see this. I'm not Sugar Ray's audience. I have taste in music. If you went, I hope you had a good time. And if you were dragged to it, I hope you got that bj. If you didn't, maybe you should write to Mr. Mark. He might suck just like his music.

Phony Beatlemania

I can't escape it. Beatlemania has once again gripped the people around me. A video game featuring the band and a CD box set were released roughly at the same time, which means that every jackass around me is sporting a t-shirt with the Fab Four (sounds like a gay superhero team) and stores are pumping in the music.

It's enough to make me want to shoot Paul McCartney.

My feelings on the band are well known and thoroughly justified. If anyone else did "Strawberry Fields Forever," critics would be trashing them. Since it came from the Beatles, however, it's like God ejaculated straight into their ears. Give me a break.

I could live with hearing the band on the radio every once in a while. I could live with someone humming one of its songs (I like to hum shit I know people will get stuck in their heads). But now it is constant. Fifteen-year-olds are wearing Beatles shirts. What the fuck? No teenager should be sporting a Beatles shirt. Whatever happened to pissing off your parents? Now you are your parents. Jesus. What next? Perhaps you'll start a retirement fund or do something really daring like wear sandals to the mall. Christ.

It has to stop at some point. People have to come to their sense again. Maybe Whitney Houston will overdose or something. I just want something to come along and take their minds off this new fascination that is as pointless as it is disturbing. Can't people still be mourning Michael Jackson?

When will this madness end?

Making Sense of the Notes

I'm a writer, so it makes sense that I'd like to know what causes people to read what I write. I would also like to know because I'm trying to use my blogs to generate extra income. Ideally, making a living off writing is what I want to do. My royalty checks from the book aren't big enough, and another book being published seems far off, so these blogs are what I've got at the moment.

Google, which is the mommy of blogspot, has this neat thing called analytics. Through it I can learn all sorts of information about Satanic Music For Good Children. Here's a sample of the keywords that bring people to the site: satanic music, Dead Kennedys and disrespect, GG Allin songs about molesting children, music band the Yes satanic, good satanic music, (and my personal favorite) Ted Kennedy satanic. These are people who have ended up on my blog.

I'm a bit worried.

The Adam and the Ants piece has brought the most views, which I find inspirational.

A lot of people have found the blog through my Cancerous Zeitgeist blog, which is also good. Others have linked to me on Facebook, which lands some folks my way.

What does all of this mean?

Not much. The blog isn't making money. I briefly thought about asking bands if they want to advertise here, and if any are interested please let me know, but I have to like you in order to do it (that excludes most hip hop, country and opera -- sorry).

I do know I want to keep it going. I enjoy writing about music and exposing people to stuff they haven't heard before or may have forgotten about. I just wonder if it's worth it. This blog gets little to no comments, and the page views seem to be dropping.

The months to come will paint the picture, I guess. I'll see how the numbers look in about three months. See if there are more hits. See if people looking up songs about the evil Ted Kennedy are still coming here.

If not, maybe I'll pull the plug, or do some kind of overhaul or something. Hell if I know.

CD Review: The Bloody Lovelies

Some Truth & a Little Money is one of those releases that rubs me the wrong way from the start. The first song, "Hologram," which has the horrible line "I am a hologram" reminds me of what the Beatles would sound like if the band had some balls. Not a good thing in my book.

Part two of the anger: Randy Wooten is the man behind the vocals. He also plays the piano for the band. The piano. The band is called the Bloody Lovelies. There should be no piano in a band of that name.

Four scruffy white guys who are about as threatening as a virgin White Russian. Cheap Lullaby Records, which put this out, must be targeting the "bands you can introduce your mom to" market, and this would be the poster child for that movement. By the time the last song, "A Million Years From Now" comes around (and all the songs sound basically the same), I kept thinking, "I cannot play this on the same stereo that routinely hosts Nashville Pussy." It seems like a fucking crime.

The press release describes these guys as "4 rockers." Really? Has our definition of rock fallen so far? This came out in 2003 (I'm behind on my music reviews), but the definition can't have changed that much. Could it? Hasil Adkins -- rocker. Jerry J. Nixon -- rocker. The Black Crowes for Christ's sake -- rockers. This? Elevator music for the younger Sears shoppers.

I will admit that the band can play its instruments. The singer's voice isn't grating, either. But everything about this band is so blah that I can't help but wonder why the fuck these guys even try. I can picture them playing the same five bars for years, praying for the day they can all quit their day jobs in construction and the restaurant business. That day never comes, though, but they stick at it. Never getting any new fans. Never progressing.

Maybe I'm wrong. I'm so out of touch with what is popular these days (thank Jesus) that this band could be huge, and I sound like a fool. If that is the case, you people who put this band there are idiots. This is what happens when rock is dominated by men who love their grandparents.

Lord, whatever happened to anger?

Chumbawamba In Style

Gotta love Chumbawamba. Pay five pounds now and when Thatcher dies (here's to hoping it's sooner than later), you get the In Memoriam, Margaret Thatcher ep. Click here to pre-order. It's pressed and waiting to go. All you need now is for Thatcher to bite it.

Dead Kennedys

The death of Ted Kennedy (ironically enough not from a car accident) brings to mind one of the best punk bands with one of the best names ever. That's right: the Dead Kennedys. Nothing says disrespect better than a name that matches death with America's fucked up royalty.

The Dead Kennedys has had its share of misfortune. Lawsuits, in-fighting, commercialism, a song being tied to a near rape scene in a movie and so on. It hasn't been pretty, and it's actually quite a shame that a band that influenced my teen years immensely has been reduced to the waste that is so many other bands. Through it all, though, I supported Jello Biafra, though I haven't always agreed with him.

As I write this, tributes to Teddy boy are playing on television, all glossing over the infamous drunk driving incident that cost a life. I think if the Dead Kennedys were still around in anything that resembled its original formation the guys would be having a field day with this. Matt Lauer, always an insightful pundit (he notes sarcastically) just said that many people have compared (so Lauer can't be accused of comparing) Ted Kennedy's life to a Greek tragedy. Interesting, and more fodder for the fire.

I almost grabbed some Dead Kennedys to take to work. Instead I went with Total Fucking Destruction. It seems more appropriate, as the DK dream is no more. Forever inspired, though, no matter how much the legal battles have disappointed me.

Thanks, Ted. You brought back some awesome memories.

Les Paul

Thank you.

It's The Beatles!

I am one of 33 people in the world who thinks the Beatles is one of the most overrated bands to ever assault our ears. I hate it more than Led Zeppelin. Hell, the Brits are just as overhyped as Citizen Kane, a movie that far too many critics claim to be the best film of all time just because they don't want to seem out of the loop.

A Beatle's fan once told me she liked the songs because they were beautiful in their simplicity. I will agree they are simple. They are also boring, pedestrian, and lack any kind of real emotion. The Monkees actually made happier songs and had a far better singer, too.

The fact is: The Beatles produced boring music. It was the right band at the right time, and like herpes it stuck around. Sweet death only solidified its standing in music history. One has to think, though, that Lennon, had he not been shot, would probably be hosting some kind of reality show these days. Perhaps putting together the new Beatles.

It's all a bunch of shit pushed forth by lazy music journalists onto a lazy public. And most of them bought it. What's that about suckers being born? It is actually nothing more than a boy band that made it really big without the dancing. And, yes, the members took part in the drug years and the music showed for it. Yawn. Fucking hippie shit there, too.

If there's any proof that this band is evil, one only has to remember that because of it we got Wings, which has .... interesting ... songs to say the least. I like them for part of it, but since each song that's a hit is like four songs in one, it's tough to like the entire thing.

Another artist who is fairly overrated (but not nearly as much as the Beatles) is Bruce Springsteen. That said, Springsteen's "Born to Run" has more more emotion and sincerity in it than any ten of the Beatles' songs combined. (Ironically, it also has a song structure similar to some of Wings' hits.) When you put that song next to the Beatles, the Beatles cease to exist, which brings up another point.

If the Beatles were to come out today, the band would not be nearly as popular as it was. In fact, I believe it would come and go without much notice until VH1 did an "I Love the ..." special. One hit. Maybe two. The world would stop caring.

Overrated. Overhyped. Over played. Over.

Mike Diana Art Raffle And Closing Party

Press release for your consideration (Diana is a great guy who got a bum rap):

FINAL DAYS of MIKE DIANA ART RAFFLE & CLOSING PARTY
AUGUST 8th @ Passout Records - Brooklyn
Live Music, Original Art, Paintings, T-Shirts, Video & Puppet Show

contact: Jefe aka Johnny Chiba: ph: 917-250-7192 - e: jefe@testpress.net - AIM: testicle88

WHO: MIKE DIANA - first artist convicted of obscenity in Florida
WHEN: Saturday, August 8th, 7-10PM
WHERE: PASSOUT RECORD SHOP: 131 Grand Street (bet Bedford/Berry)
Williamsburg Brooklyn 718.384.7273

OPENING BANDS START AT 5PM:
The Aliens
Wombat In Combat

ENTER THE MIKE DIANA SUPERPHAT RAFFLE - Only $5.00
Help Mike pay off his Florida fines

Anyone who enters raffle gets a small exclusive b/w print signed by Mike, so everyone wins!
Enter as many times as you like, via pay pal online, by mail or at the Closing Party.

Two winners (1 online, 1 at closing party) will receive:

The Worst of
Boiled Angel

Superfly
Comix #1

Superfly
Comix #2
"Nancy" t-shirt
Bubblegum
Ghost Girl print

Note: as pay pal does not allow raffles, anyone who purchases this signed, exclusive b/w print
(for $5), or anything from mikedianacomix.com now thru August 8 will be entered into raffle... wink!

Send $5 via pay pal (use "mikediana@testpress.net")
or send well-hidden fiver, check or money order (attn: "Mike Diana")
c/o TEST PRESS, PO Box 1582, Cooper Station, NY NY 10276

Important: include name, email, address and "MIKE DIANA PRINT"

Winners will be chosen August 8th


Closing Party Flyer

MORE INFO:
jefe @ testpress.net
www.mikedianacomix.com

In 1994, underground cartoonist Mike Diana was thrown in jail for 4 days without bail on obscenity charges, for publishing, advertising, and selling his zine BOILED ANGEL. Mike was on probation for 3 years, terms included fines of $3000, no contact with minors, 1280 hours of community service, maintain full time employment, and at his expense, see a psychiatrist and take journalism courses at his own expense; AND no drawing for his own personal use... his home was subject to unannounced searches by local police to make sure he was complying. On June 4, 1996, a ruling issued by Largo, Florida, Circuit Judge Douglas Baird declared Mike Diana's zines, Boiled Angel #7 and #ATE as obscene. The judge emphasized that he personally found Diana's comics "patently offensive." and stated, "The evident goal of the appellant's publication is to portray shocking and graphic pictures of sexual conduct so it will be noticed. If the message is about victimization and that horrible things are happening in our society, as the appellant alleges, the appellant SHOULD HAVE created a vehicle to send his message that was not obscene." Mike Diana was served with another 2 years of probation, including $2000 in fines, and the same probationary terms.

15 years after his initial Florida arrest on pornography charges for mailing his zine Boiled Angel to an undercover agent,
Mike Diana is still subject to harassment from the law for not paying off thousands of dollars in fines from his 1994 conviction;
In April 2009, Mike was detained flying back from Sweden's Comic Art School, Swedish airport authorities called Homeland
Security in Florida to ask if they wanted to come arrest him. Two weeks later, returning from Bolivia's Vinetas Con Altura
(Bullets With Height) Art show, Mike was forced to wait a full week to reroute his flights to NOT go through Florida.

music news

Ant Music

Anyone I've ever met who has liked Adam and the Ants has been cool. No exceptions. I've met plenty of cool people who don't like Adam and the Ants, but every single Ant fan has been awesome. I don't know what it is, and I'm sure there are a few dicks out there, but overall -- incredible.

Back in the '80s this was a band I was fascinated with. Admittedly it was the band's costumes that attracted me to it. The music, though, sealed the deal. Songs of adventure, romance and voodoo got under this young boy's skin and stayed there. I even watched that Nickelodeon concert special way back in the day. If I recall right, part of it took place on a pirate ship.

Fucking cool.

Yeah, Adam and the Ants is pop music, but it's not like any pop music before or since. It had something special to it that you couldn't quite put your finger on. It was like it music out of time, yet timeless. It holds up to this day, too, and does not sound dated. That's kind of weird when you think of the era it came out of.

Like Prince, Doug and the Slugs and a handful of others, fans of this band all share the knowledge that they are onto something special that some people in the world just haven't caught onto yet. Call us elite (we would argue). Call us delusional (we may not argue that one). Just don't call into question the fact that this band had a look and sound as unique as anything you've ever seen and heard.

That voodoo that you do, indeed.

Very Pro Pain

"Are you listening to angry music?" my co-worker asked.

I was at work. I'm always listening to angry music. In this case it was Pro-Pain. Great stuff. Gave it a good review in Tattoo Savage if memory serves me correctly. My co-worker could tell something was up by the expression on my face.

Angry music is cathartic. Like writing, it lets my demons out. It pumps me up for the day. It gets me motivated. It's no wonder that during the first Gulf War (GWI -- The Beginning) soldiers killed the innocent and not-so-innocent to a soundtrack of Slayer. This, of course, leads to the question: Is music dangerous?

It's not, but it should be.

Most of the music forced on us today by the radio, television shows and rags like Rolling Stone is so safe that you have to wonder if it would even offend your religious aunt who won't watch toilet paper commercials because they are too suggestive. I wish that weren't the case, though.

In a perfect world, music would inspire more than it does now. Inspiration is nothing but dangerous. That's even more potent than GG Allin inspired mayhem. Allin was dangerous to his audience. Crass was dangerous to society. We don't have anything like those two acts these days. Now everything is sanitized for your protection. If your idea of dangerous is a Twisted Sister reunion, you got another thing comin'.

Yes, aggressive music makes me aggressive. Yes, I like it because it causes me to work faster. Yes, I think aggressive music is a good thing. If there's a problem with that, it's only because there isn't nearly enough good aggressive music out there.

So today it was Pro-Pain and Plantabiss, a stoner grindcore band few people actually remember. Tomorrow? I don't know, but I do know it will be something necessary to get the blood flowing.

Just don't get in my fucking way.

7/4/92 -- Ass Song

Where were you July 4, 1992? Sitting in the backyard sipping a cool beverage while you watched your neighbors swim and hoping his wife's bathing suit top would come off? Perhaps you turned up the radio a bit as that hot song came on. You couldn't remember the guy's name. It was too black for you. But you knew the song. It was about women's asses.

"Baby Got Back." Sir Mix-A-Lot.

It was number one that week. It had the country by its puckered hole, and it was accompanied by a video that was nothing short of anal worshipping. (Later Burger King would use the song so its customers could know what part of the cow they were eating.)

It was, by every stretch of the definition, a bad song. Pointless. Tired. Novelty. It was the kind of thing older people couldn't believe was on the radio and younger kids thought was funny. Anyone between 15 and 30 just thought it was dumb.

While still a joke, it is no longer number one. That was actually the only Fourth of July when it was. It was replaced the next year by Janet Jackson singing one of her songs (they all sound the same so no title is necessary), and no song since then that has hit number one on the Fourth has matched it for sheer pointlessness. Maybe Brandy and Monica's 1998 hit "The Boy is Mine." Maybe not.

Of course, any self-respecting music lover knows Top 40 music is utter crap, so being number one only means your crap floated to the top of the bowl. Occasionally something good, like 1984's entry (Prince's "When Doves Cry") will sneak in and remind you that sometimes the public gets it right, but 1992 capped it. It was totally downhill from there. Not even the 1989 Milli Vanilli classic "Baby Don't Forget My Number" was as bad as Mix's ass anthem, and I'm glad one of the Vanilli boys are dead.

Freedom, as you should know by now, does not mean freedom from bad music. It only means you are free to ogle you neighbor's wife.

Boz Scaggs Visits Humboldt

The Scaggs, whose last name sounds very much like a skin disorder, will visit the Arkley Center 8/3/09. I know people who are excited about this. I don't know why.

Humboldt County has plenty of great local music, but many of our citizens get wet over the idea of a one-time name coming to our little corner of the world. Night Ranger comes to mind.

I'm not a Boz Scaggs fan. I won't go see him for all the obvious reasons. I am, however, tempted to hang out outside the venue selling "genuine" Scaggs merchandise like condoms and coke spoons. It could be exciting.

Besides, I just want to see who will show up to this thing. I can imagine some husband getting his wife tickets and her saying, "You are so getting laid tonight." And he will, while visions of Scaggs runs through her head.

The mind reels ...

You Are Missed

Sixteen years ago. Right around this time. Got word of his death while in New Orleans. And while I don't agree with everything he's said, this is why I respect him.





How many of you could face a crowd and say the things he did without your voice trembling? He would have fought them all, too.

Long live, GG.