A Perfect Band

There are few bands I can honestly say are perfect.  These are bands I can listen to at any time and will somehow always fit my mood.  Even the bad songs are good.  The Clash is one of them.  Nashville Pussy is another.

Yesterday, I drove to work knowing there was a fairly good chance the day would be hell.  The first song that popped on my MP3 player was "Speed Machine" from Nashville Pussy.  I figured this would set the tone of the day in the most splendid of ways.

I was right.  It was Nashville Pussy.  How could I be wrong.

When I write, either creatively or on one of the blogs, NP can usually be heard pounding out the speakers.  It just always puts me in the right mood. 

I once described NP's sound to a friend like this: dirty, raw sex in the South on the most humid of days with the most uninhibited woman you could ever hope to find.  You will be left sore, but you will go back for more.

I think that description fits.

"Good Night for a Heart Attack" and "Struttin' Cock" are two songs that fit my mood way too much.  How can you not hear the latter and just think sex?





Open wide and put a little South in your mouth.  Perfect fucking band.  Perfect.

Good-Bye, Mr. Dio

I have never been a huge Dio fan.  Mr. Ronnie James is one of the grandfathers of heavy metal, though, so he has my respect.  He's put in time with some of the greats and inspired countless number of metalheads the world over.  His death, at 67, is not shocking, as it came after a battle with stomach cancer, but it was still surprising.  Hell, KTVU out of San Francisco even did a piece on him which was pretty respectful and bare bones.

His death doesn't bother me in the way GG Allin's did, and I can't suddenly pretend to be the world's number one fan.  I thought he was talented, but he never struck me as interesting enough to actually buy anything he did.


Don't mistake that lack of enthusiasm for lack of respect, though.  I readily acknowledge his contributions to the metal genre.  He just doesn't excite my senses the way Iron Maiden or Pantera does when it comes to metal.  He was a workhorse.  He always delivered, but what he delivered was, by my tastes, average.

There is one thing I'll give him, though.  At 67 years of age, he had to have been the creepiest grandfather ever.

Metal will miss you, Dio.  I'll also miss you as and elderstatesmen.  Your music will live on, as will the legend.

It's Just Dumb Music

I am not a fan of Limp Bizkit.  It's not the worst music in the world, and I can tolerate it being played near me, but I would not purchase a CD or download (even for free) any of its music.  That said, a girl I know really, really likes the band, and could not understand why I wasn't into it since I like "extreme shit."

(She and I obviously have different definitions of "extreme shit.")

I told her it just didn't do much for me.  I didn't loathe it like I loathe The Presidents of the United States, but there is other stuff I'd rather be listening to.  "It's just dumb music," she said.  "It's not supposed to make you think, just bob your head."

I couldn't help but think that sums up a lot of music ... especially currently.  It's not designed to make you think or even feel, but to simply move in time with the beats.  Something to blare from your car, windows down, on a summer day so that those around you know you belong to a common civilization.  Kind of like the reason businessmen wear suits or Giants fans wear the team's jersey on game day.  It lets people know you are part of something.

I guess in this sense, Limp Bizkit and other bands that are just meant to make you shake, are not only harmless, but actually also serve a purpose.  They make you less of an outsider and more of a "someone."  Of course, every genre and every social group has these bands.  Limp Bizkit applies to a certain group, while Jewel applies to another.  Instead of creating divides, the unite, and while those outside your peer group may not recognize the song or the band, many of them can be sure they heard it somewhere at some time before, so it can't make you all that bad.  After all, it's not like your Toyota pick-up is rattling to Total Chaos. 

I still won't buy the band's stuff, though.  I like that outsider status.  The outsider is handled differently.  There is more caution used ... at least until a group decides to kill him.  I'm fine with that role.  It suits me well.  At the very least it keeps me from buying "dumb music."  

Strange Urges for Strange Projects

If you're a fan of the Misfits, the name Kryst the Conqueror is probably familiar to you.  The band was essentially Jerry Only and Doyle (joined by Jeff Soto and Dave Sabo) doing metal songs with a religious theme.  I was given the cassette by the brothers when I got to meet them in their shop in New Jersey.  Expecting to hear a Misfits-like project at the time, I was a bit stunned by how metal it sounded.

Earlier today, for no apparent reason, I had the urge to listen to the cassette.  I hadn't played it in years, and I can't remember any of the songs, but for some reason it seemed like a good idea to pull it out and give it some fresh ears.

Unfortunately, life distracted me, and I ended up listening to some bootleg live Samhain instead.  It wasn't Kryst the Conqueror, but I think it scratched that itch for the time being.


I've always been puzzled as to why Kryst the Conqueror had to be such a radical departure from the Misfits.  At the time it came out you could say it was because the Jerry and Doyle wanted nothing to do with the Misfits sound and decided to go a radically different direction, but time would prove that to be wrong.  You could, if you believe Wikipedia, say that the brothers (Jerry and Doyle, in case you aren't familiar with the history of the Misfits) thought this band would be an almost counter message to what Danzig had done since the Misfits disbanded.  (Wikipedia states that Jerry found Danzig's later music to be "Satanic," something that was never brought up with me in my dealings with them.)  Either way, you can't argue that Kryst the Conqueror was about as different from the Misfits as you could imagine the brothers getting while still keeping a guitar-heavy rock sound.

As it stands, Kryst the Conqueror is another interesting side note to the history of the Misfits, like Dr. Chud's Sacred Thrash and Gorgeous Frankenstein.  It's not the Misfits and clearly isn't meant to be, but it's also not anything you would expect out of anyone even remotely associated with that historical band.


Now I really want to find that cassette just to see how well it has stood up through time.  My guess?  Not nearly as well as the Misfits have.

Let Them Eat ... Nothing!

I'm not in the norm.  I'm an Internet user, but I'm not cheap.  I actually end up paying for my music.  (Not the stuff I get for review, mind you, but the stuff I download.)  Yeah, I pay for it, and I'm more than fine with that.  And while I've bought bootlegs in the past, the bootlegs have always been of live performances or songs that were never released up until that moment.  Downloading music illegally, to me, has always left me feeling kind of cold ... something people who read me on a regular basis know.

Paul Weller of The Jam (you should know of this band) put it best in an interview in Spin.  What he said was so succinct, so complete, that I'm quoting him here, and then I'm offering a challenge.

"They fucking say the live thing is where the money is, but tell that to my mates in club bands.  They're making 100 pounds a night.  I don't know what that is in American dollars, but it's fuck all.  A lot of us are still living on baked beans, man.  The atmosphere's scary.  I don't understand this thing of people receiving music for nothing.  Whether it's unromantic or not, it's how I pay the bills.  And that shit about making an album and saying it costs nothing; that's like saying my life's work is worthless."

I imagine some people who download music without paying for it have jobs.  Why don't you go in and work for free?  That seems fair, doesn't it?  Why should it be that way for musicians?  Why should they put all kinds of physical and mental effort into creating something (which is a hell of a lot harder than flipping a burger, running a cash register or any number of other jobs) that you just then take?  Granted, some musicians don't mind, but enough do, and music fans should respect their art and craft enough to pay for it.

I like Weller's quote.  It makes sense.  Good sense.  Sure, it's hard to feel bad for Metallica crying foul, but Weller is a whole other story.  You can't say he's only after the money. 

When all those people who are illegally downloading start working for free I'll start respecting their positions more.  All of them who I know who have jobs, however, always balk when I suggest any such thing. 

Support the artists you love.  They have families to raise, bills to feed, and it's just downright respectful.  If not, you try working for free and see how you like it.  Better yet, try making a living off your creativity.  Let's see how well you can do it -- without being paid.

I Hate Peaches

No, not the singer.  The song.  "Peaches."  That awful, suicide inducing ditty from the insipid The Presidents of the United States of America.  I hate it so much that if I ever meet these guys, I will fight them ... and I will win.

Granted, I like some stupid songs.  Anything from Diesel Rhino comes to mind.  None, however, are as awful and stupid (not to mention boring) as "Peaches."  None.  Not a single one.  How this song ever became popular is a mystery to me.  I imagine it has something to do with our failing school systems, but I can't prove it.

Co-workers and friends know of my hatred, and they use the song to rile me up and then are taken aback by how angry I get when I talk about it.  It amuses them ... to a point.

I could go on and on about why I hate this song, artists' responsibilities and so on, but I won't bore you.  What I will state, however, is that if anyone knows how to personally get in touch with the band (not through a web site), let me know.  I want to ask the lads why they would write such a lame song, and then challenge them to a throw down.  Last man standing.

When I'm done with them, they'll still be able to eat peaches ... through a straw.

Ugly Children

I am not a fan of country music ... especially not the current crop of country crooners who are about as country as high rise buildings and sushi.  I am a fan of Voodoo Rhythm, however, and if the label puts out a band, I'm listening to it.  Hell, if Reverend Beat-Man thinks a band has merit, it's worth investigating.

Enter The Watzloves.  I was a hard sell on this band, but its cover of the country classic "You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly" made me really take notice.  I've heard the song before.  I think I was actually one a trip with my grandparents when I heard the original.  I didn't like it then, and I'm not sure I'd like it now, but The Watzlove version is on my PSP's memory stick and it's not going anywhere soon.

The Watzloves is not exactly your average band.  It's a Cajun, swamp blues monster that would be just as at home in the city as it would on some back porch in Louisana.  It is, however, exactly what you'd expect to find on Voodoo.

Enjoy the show.           

Movie Star Junkies Review Up

If you're interested, my review of the Movie Star Junkie's Mellville can be found here.

King Automatic Interview Up

I've posted the King Automatic interview here despite my hesitation. I'm fairly sure the pay issue will be resolved. It's no reason to keep from getting the band some exposure. Enjoy.

King Automatic Interview Update

I've finally finished transcribing the King Automatic interview. I want to put it up on Associated Content, but I see that I have been paid for previous pieces, but the pay has not materialized in my account (in fact, it may have gone to someone else's account). I have no desire to put stuff up so other people get paid. I'm going to give Associated Content some time to work this out, and if it can't be done (or won't be done), I'll post the interview here.

If you're a King Automatic fan (which seems doubtful as he says most of his fans are in Germany and Switzerland), you'll read about how he started, what he thinks about illegal downloading and what his future projects will be. It was a good interview, broken English and all (he's French).

California Love

2Pac. Dr. Dre (fairly sure he's not really a doctor). "California Love." 1996. All Eyez on Me. West Coast, motherfuckers. A celebration of California life ... or something.

I never really understood the appeal of hip hop songs that extol the virtues of living in one place over another, whether it be a neighborhood, region or state. I can understand having pride in wherever you pay rent, but to commit it vinyl or illegally downloaded MP3s? Seems kind of like it's a sign that you've run out of ideas.

I spent a lot of time in Mt. Pocono in my teen years. I'm fairly sure if I had a hip hop act (named, I believe, Rev. Doug and the Presidential Azzazzins), I would not be throwing down, "Mt. Pocono, motherfucker/Where the ice cream is cold/And the cops are bold/No night life, bitch/But we got huntin' and fish."

It just wouldn't be right.

As most people know, I think current hip hop is more concerned with being like bored Beverly Hills housewives instead of taking a political stance like Public Enemy of old. Hence, I've left most of it behind and retain the old punk standards of things like Crass and newer old music like that which comes out of the house of Voodoo.

My guess is that "California Love" filled Californians with an inflated sense of self and a vibe again to a summer block party while listeners in other parts of the country wanted to come enjoy the wonderous cities that are Oakland and Hollywood. When I hear it, however, I visualize that Mad Max-inspired video and think of wasted opportunities. Hell, Nairobi and the Awesome Foursome's "Funky Soul MaKoosa" actually seems to have more inspiration and it kinda sucks.

Come to think of it, with the perpetual stupidity that seems to run rampant in this state like STDs on campus, "California Love" may be right on target.

Waking Up With Rollins

I woke up with my stomach gurgling. Upset about my daughter being sick, me being sick, and work, I figured it was a good time for some Rollins Band. His music keeps me sane in the worst of times and the best of times ... and in the tough times. Tired of illness and stress. Tired of people pushing med leave. Tired of talking the same talking and walking the same walk and not getting anywhere close to my destination.

In high school, the words and wisdom of Hank helped to put things into context. Black Flag was a constant on my Walkman. It made getting to school less dreadful and leaving all that much sweeter. It made me realize that all the petty shit meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Now, however, all the petty shit isn't petty -- it's what I'm surrounded by. The people who do their best to be the most ignorant. My war, indeed.

The coffee I drink this morning is bitter. I'm slow because my stomach keeps cramping up, and I feel like I gotta puke. I'm going to work to do damage control, because I don't think I can take much of what is being thrown my way, but med leave ain't my way, either. I just don't know where I stand anymore in much of anything.

At least my girl is feeling better. That means the world to me, and that counts for everything. With her, I can shut the rest of the world out and focus where the focus must be. With her around, I don't need to play Rollins Band in the morning.

But she already likes Black Flag, and I hope she comes to the realizations quicker than I did.

Meet Joe Black

Did any Malevolent Creation fans like the Joe Black release? It's a remix album, and I can't picture it sitting well with die-hard fans of the band.

I, on the other hand, listened to it yesterday for the first time in many years, and really enjoyed it. Death metal and techno-like beats goes together pretty damn well.

I have no idea of what the band is up to these days, or even if it still exists. It may have gone the way oh-so many other metal acts from the '90s, or maybe it's still earning dope money by playing dive bars in Florida for aging car mechanics and 22-year-old SSI recipients.

It doesn't really matter what the band's fate is, however. This release remains a testament to metal ingenuity no matter what the long-haired lads are doing.

I just wonder if they ever put it on the stereo and think, "What the hell were we doing?"

The Amazing Power of Lard

I never thought Jello Biafra would work well with industrial music, but when I heard Lard I realized I was wrong. It actually works really well.

Industrial music is one of those things you either like or don't. I can understand why some people just can't get into the repetitive sounds and jarring noises. Some people don't like the fascist links/imagery to some of the music. For me, however, the music is a powerful mood booster that helps me face the day. Driving in to work listening to Ministry helps me get through the day. Writing to Skinny Puppy sets the mood. Listening to Lard inspires me.

Like metal, the industrial music of the eighties and nineties is powerful stuff meant to evoke emotions. It succeeds. Heck, I remember reading a report that Jeffrey Dahmer looked for victims at a Skinny Puppy show. I never knew if it were true or not, but it did seem fitting. That music would attract that sort of thing.

I once played Too Dark Park for one of my brother's girlfriends. She liked Air Supply and had never heard anything like it. She described it as "scary" and made me turn it off.

And that is why I like it. It accomplishes its goal. Granted, there are always arguments about what is industrial versus what isn't, but set those aside and you find a genre that actually succeeds on the level it is playing on. It attracts the right kind of listener and alienates the wrong.

If only hip hop were so lucky.

One Man Band: King Automatic

As always, Voodoo Rhythm puts out the most amazing releases. 10/2/09 saw the unleashing of In the Blue Corner from King Automatic.

The King was once a drummer in the French punk band Thundercrack. That was the mid 1990s. Come 2000 King had separated from Thundercrack and did his thing on his own. We're all better off for it.

To be fair, King Automatic isn't totally solo on this 14 song release. He's got Petra, Miss Bang! Bang! and Rich Deluxe helping with backing vocals. He does handle the drums, guitars, harp, vocals and keyboard himself, though. Take that, Bruce Springsteen!

One man bands aren't the future of rock 'n' roll. In fact, they are more of a glimpse of the past. They are a more pure sound, however. They show that you don't have to have four guys to create a full sound amongst the battling egos. Purity gives music soul. The more fingers in the pot, the more diluted the message becomes. This release is proof of that.

Chumbawamba Update

Got a look at the January Riot dates. They are below for your pleasure.

Riot, Rebellion and Bloody Insurrection continues

4/1/10 The Octagon, Hull 01482 387 490 www.octagon.goodwintrust.org
5/1/10 Pacific Road Arts Centre, Wirral 0151 666 0000 www.pacificroad.co.uk
7/1/10 Bridgwater Arts Centre 01278 422 700 www.bridgwaterartscentre.co.uk
8/1/10 Civic Theatre, Oswaldtwistle 01254 380 293 www.hyndburnentertainment.com
9/1/10 The Sage, Gateshead 0191 443 4661 www.thesagegateshead.org


Further tour dates are to follow, as are dates for other countries.

The Most Erotic Song

This is sure to raise more than a few eyebrows, but The Misfits' "Spinal Remains" is one of the most erotic songs I can think of ... and it's not meant to be.



There is just something highly sexually charged about the song. "I wanna stand in/Baby your spinal remains." "We have no reasons but we still have fun/Then I blow up and you whispered my name." I can't explain it, and a look at the rest of lyrics doesn't make it seem like it's erotic, but just listen to it. If this song doesn't scream sex, you're deaf or dead.

I have this on a couple of my MP3 players and crank it up every time it comes on. It's best before work, but I don't even try to think about that one. Maybe it's the way Danzig sings it. Maybe it's the guitar. I don't know. But damn if I don't want to fuck until sore when I hear this song.

"This isn't really/This isn't really life/This isn't really anything I think I like."

Again, the lyrics don't make it seem like it's sexual, but hearing it is something else all together. If you've heard it, I think you know what I mean. It's off the legendary Legacy of Brutality release, which is my favorite Misfits album, too. Every song on there is gold.

I'm putting the MP3 on the side menu for you to listen to a sample of. You may not agree with me, but you'd be wrong.